There’s authentic Canadian maple syrup tapped in Quebec, authentic Van Gogh paintings painted by the Post-Impressionist master himself, and authentic Champagne from the Champagne Region in France.
I call bullshit
I know you consider yourself to be an authentic person.
We all do.
If you don’t take the time to truly know yourself, you can’t actually be yourself. The research says that most of us don’t know ourselves well enough to realize we lack authenticity.
Being authentic means that what you think, feel, say are working harmoniously together. It means acting in line with your values and personality.
Do any of these situations sound familiar?
- You feel guilty for saying you can’t help on the school’s PTA?
- A friend’s comment on Facebook hurts your feelings, yet you don’t say anything.
- You get defensive when someone criticizes your presentation at work.
These are all subtle signs you are not being authentic.
“Authenticity is about realizing that we are the authors of our own lives. If we are the authors of our own lives, the secret is not to let someone else hold the pen.” Dr Stephen Joseph
Being authentic is about being continually open to new experiences, and always learning about your strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. It takes listening to the intuitive voice deep inside you that whispers nothing but the truth. It means standing your ground against the influence of others, and owning the consequences of your actions.
Being true to yourself isn’t static. It’s in a constant state of flux depending on your confidence, who you’re with, where you are, and what’s at stake.
You might be comfortable allowing your significant other see you cry during every tv commercial featuring a dog, but certainly no one else! You’re also probably going to pretend to be amused with your boss’s joke when you know he’s been in a bad mood all day, and you want to get out of there on time.
When you’ve been through major health issues, it makes it a whole lot harder to be authentic because it breaks apart the very foundation on which your life is built. Your values and priorities change, yet the world around you and the people in it stay the same.
Practice telling the difference between feeling authentic and inauthentic
Inspired by Dr Stephen Joseph’s book “Authentic” (which I love!), this quick exercise will help you tune into how you feel when you’re being authentic, and when you’re not:
- Think back and imagine a situation where you felt completely inauthentic, a time where you were not acting in line with your core values, beliefs, thoughts, and character. Use your imagination to try to relive this situation. Pay close attention to what happened, how you felt, and how it impacted yourself and others.
- Next, think about a situation where you were true to yourself, where you were acting according to your thoughts, feelings, values, and personality. Again use your imagination to try to relive this situation. Pay close attention to what happened, how you felt, and how it impacted yourself and others.
- Notice the difference in how you felt between these two situations. Your goal is to follow that feeling of authenticity as often as you can.
No more doing what you should do, it’s time to become fluent in what’s RIGHT FOR YOU. This is where The Values Roadmap Session comes in. Click here to find out more and sign up for this life changing session.
“This session helped me discover my subconscious values, those qualities about myself I hadn’t recognized, giving me a renewed sense of self. Now I use my Values Roadmap as a tool when making important decisions plans, moves and so on, to make sure that what I do is in line with my values and therefore truly feels right for ME.” – Sarah Ehsani